I start back to school tomorrow and I am dreading this semester. I have been so spoiled at home with Liam lately. It amazes me how much he is changing in such a short amount of time. I also don't mind the fact that he has been letting me sleep in until 9 or later for the past few weeks...

I am finally hunkering down on wedding planning and I am starting to stress out. I feel like every time I look, my guest list has grown... and grown... and grown. I feel selfish for wanting this big wedding. Mama and dad have been helping us out financially now for a few months until we get back on our feet after Trev gets this new job at Votgle (hopefully in April...) I almost threw in the towel and took his butt to the courthouse, but I think I would regret it in the long run.

I got to spend some QT with a good friend from highschool who I haven't seen in years last night. She came over for a nice glass of wine and some girl talk- wow, how times have changed. We laughed about stupid things we did in highschool, about the losers we dated and swore we'd marry and about our old friends who are still "living the dream" of most young, unemployed college students. For a slight moment, I felt a little jealous as she told me of the fun times she has had in my old college town. What would I be doing? Where would I be headed? I let my mind "what if" for a few minutes but was snapped back to reality at the sound of L over the monitor. I went in to get him from his crib and he smiled, lifted his arms up and gave me a big hug.

 "What if I didn't have him and Trevor?"

I think I chose the right path.